Norman, Okla., (The Oklahoma Post) – October 21, 2025
Recent research underscores that parental alienation inflicts deep, long-lasting psychological harm. A 2022 qualitative study by Verhaar, Matthewson and Bentley of adults who had been alienated as children found overwhelmingly that the experience led to serious trauma and mental illness. Twenty adults described “mental health difficulties, including anxiety disorders and trauma reactions,” as well as “emotional pain” and even “addiction and substance use” resulting from alienation. Half of the participants were already parents facing the same crisis with their own children a clear sign of intergenerational transmission of alienating behaviors. Alarmingly, many reported self-harm or suicidal thoughts; nearly one-third disclosed past or current suicidal ideation linked to the ongoing alienation.
The authors stress that parental alienating behaviors are “insidious” and amount to a form of emotional child abuse. In fact, they note that if such behaviors are recognized as abuse, the affected children may manifest Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) symptoms later in life. As one participant put it, it took decades to understand why she was in a constant state of anxiety and could not “switch it off”. These findings squarely frame parental alienation as a serious trauma issue: experts recommend trauma-informed therapy for survivors and early intervention for at-risk children. In short, the peer-reviewed evidence treats parental alienation not as a simple custody spat but as a form of chronic emotional abuse whose complex trauma outcomes demand clinical attention.
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OICA’s Joint Custody Push at the State Capitol
The Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy (OICA), led by CEO Joe Dorman, has taken an active role in family-law reform. In May 2025, for example, OICA arranged for Oklahoma’s student “Kid Governor” and her cabinet to meet legislators (pictured) and discuss child welfare policies. On October 21, 2025, Dorman himself testified at an interim House Civil Judiciary Committee study on joint custody. His PowerPoint slides decried “systemic failures” in the family courts and presented 50/50 custody as the solution. Citing research on divorce outcomes, Dorman emphasized that equally shared custody “social science has shown will most benefit children”. The proposal (modeled on Rep. Mark Tedford’s pending HB 1082) would create a legal presumption in favor of joint custody in most cases.
Dorman’s presentation also sought to personalize the issue with real-life stories. Slides and affiliated Facebook posts highlighted Oklahoma parents like Brooke Brown and Paul Laubach who say they lost years of their children’s childhoods to alienation. (Both later gave public testimony or social-media statements detailing their ordeals.) Brown, a mother in Tulsa County, described feeling like a “ghost” to her own children for years, while Laubach said his children missed birthdays and graduations despite court orders allowing visits. These accounts – only summarized here underscored the human cost behind the statistics. OICA praised the lawmakers for holding the hearing, hoping that “conversation about the issue is the first step in addressing the problems”.
Joint_Equal_Custody_OICA_Presentation.pptx
Advocacy vs. Accountability: One Family’s Story
The gap between OICA’s rhetoric and its outcomes has drawn sharp criticism from some parents. One Oklahoma father, whose case was heard in Payne County and Stillwater, reports feeling abandoned despite reaching out to advocates. He says he attended a local OICA forum on parental alienation, hoping for help, but left frustrated. According to his account, Dorman knew the family personally (through a relative) and even privately mocked their distress a charge the advocate denies. The father asserts that, instead of action, he was met with indifference and that OICA never intervened on his behalf in court. These claims come from the parent’s own testimony; he requested anonymity to speak candidly. Such personal accounts suggest a tension between OICA’s public policy work and the experiences of individuals seeking direct aid. (For its part, OICA did not provide assistance to this family and had no comment on the allegations beyond its public statements.)
A Father’s Decade-Long Battle
While OICA championed parental alienation reform at the Capitol in October 2025, one father’s experience in Payne County illuminates the chasm between advocacy and action. Gregory Moyer’s ten-year ordeal through the Stillwater family court system reads like a case study in the very systemic failures Joe Dorman’s PowerPoint decried.
Moyer’s case began in December 2015 when his ex-wife filed for divorce (FD-2015-458). What followed was a cascade of protective orders, contempt citations, and suspended visitation that exemplifies how courts can weaponize procedure against targeted parents. In October 2017, Judge Katherine Thomas sentenced Moyer to 45 days in jail for contempt and suspended his visitation entirely, ordering that it remain suspended “until such application has been made showing proof that the respondent has received mental health treatment.” No mental illness had been diagnosed. No evidence of unfitness was presented. Yet the court demanded to provide records for “therapy” for a condition that didn’t exist. As if going to a counselor for mental health is a bad thing in this ordeal! Exactly what these studies and policy makers are stating can and does occur across the country.
The requirement became a catch-22: Moyer couldn’t see his children without completing treatment, but what treatment addresses a fabricated diagnosis? When he did attend therapy and provided documentation, the courts moved the goalposts. Attorney after attorney represented his ex-wife—Melissa DeLaCerda, Jimmy Oliver, James V. Murray of Murray Law Firm while Moyer fought pro se after his funds dried up. The case file swelled to thousands of pages, spanning multiple judges and years of continuances.
By 2020, Moyer had filed dozens of motions to reinstate visitation, all denied or delayed. The pandemic only deepened the separation. When he filed yet another motion to reinstate visitation in August 2020, arguing that maintaining parent-child bonds was crucial during the crisis, it was denied without a hearing. Judge Thomas eventually recused in October 2021, and the case languished for years without a permanent judge. As of 2025, Moyer continues to fight in both state court and a parallel federal civil rights lawsuit (Moyer v. Murray, et al., 5:25-cv-00429-SLP, W.D. Okla.), alleging systematic constitutional violations, judicial conflicts of interest, and a pattern of racketeering activity that turned his family court into what his filings call a “pay-to-play” system.
According to Moyer, he attended a local OICA forum on parental alienation, hoping the advocacy organization might intervene. Instead, he says he found indifference. In his account, which OICA has not publicly addressed, he felt abandoned by the very people now testifying about alienation at the state Capitol. Dorman knew the family through a relative, Moyer claims, yet provided no assistance when it mattered most. The father alleges that rather than help, he was privately mocked for his distress. OICA offered no comment on these allegations beyond its public statements advocating for policy reform.
The gap between OICA’s rhetoric and Moyer’s reality is stark. While Dorman’s presentation highlighted parents like Brooke Brown and Paul Laubach who lost years with their children, Moyer, whose case was heard in Stillwater and involved the same systemic failures remained outside that circle of recognized victims. His federal lawsuit names Murray as a defendant, the same attorney who represented Moyer’s ex-wife and whose firm contributed to judicial campaigns. Court records show a web of financial relationships between attorneys and judges that Moyer argues compromised his right to a fair hearing.
The Moyer case underscores a troubling pattern: advocacy organizations champion reform in the abstract while individual families navigate a labyrinth with no help. Ten years in, Moyer has lost a decade of his children’s lives. His story suggests that without accountability for the attorneys, judges, and coordinators who profit from prolonged conflict, legislative reforms like HB 1082 may change little for parents trapped in the system’s machinery.
The legal battle continues to expand beyond Oklahoma’s borders. Moyer’s federal civil rights case (Moyer v. Murray, et al., Case No. 5:25-cv-00429-SLP, W.D. Okla.) names as defendants: attorneys James V. Murray, Melissa Griner DeLacerda, Ky Corley, and Virginia Banks; judges Katherine E. Thomas, Tracy McDaniel, and Phillip C. Corley; Oklahoma Attorney General Gentner Drummond; Mike Fields; Joe Harper; Laura Thomas; Lisa Thompson; Koch Industries; Collins Zorn & Wagner law firm; Oklahoma Department of Human Services; Bo Gamble; Will Joyce; Corey Rink; Tiffany Seefeldt; Stillwater News Press; Stillwater Police Department; Stillwater Public Schools; and Janet Vinson. The case is currently on appeal in the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver (Case No. 25-6135), with additional cases expected to be filed this month. The mounting litigation reflects not only one father’s determination to expose systemic corruption, but also the breadth of constitutional violations he alleges occurred throughout the Payne County judicial system.
Policy Implications and Pathways to Reform
Families and experts agree that Oklahoma’s judicial system currently offers too little remedy for parental alienation. Courts tend to focus on custody logistics, often ignoring the underlying emotional abuse. One recent legislative testimony lamented that family courts “focus primarily on physical custody arrangements rather than on the emotional and psychological abuse” of alienation. In practice this means judges may simply count parenting time instead of addressing a child’s estrangement. As a result, recalcitrant parents can continue alienating largely unchecked, and the alienated parent must endure protracted litigation (with huge legal bills) to enforce orders. A father’s description of his ordeal mirrors this: he spent years and vast sums in court to try and reunite with his children.
Critics also point to misuse of court-appointed roles. Highly paid guardian ad litem (GAL) attorneys or parenting coordinators can prolong conflict rather than resolve it, with no clear accountability for their recommendations. Judges sometimes rubber-stamp GAL reports or private agreements without fully enforcing custody orders. Meanwhile, there is little enforcement when a parent blatantly violates visitation or teaching children to hate the other parent. In short, the system lacks effective sanctions and oversight for abuse of process in these cases.
Reformers advocate a paradigm shift. They urge that Oklahoma judges receive trauma-informed training, so they can recognize parental alienation as a kind of abuse. A recent review notes that courts “often lack a complete understanding of the effects of trauma on the populations before them”, underscoring the need for specialized education. Similarly, mental health experts recommend judges be trained in attachment and high-conflict dynamics to avoid re-traumatizing children. In practice, this could mean routine screening for alienation and appointments of qualified therapists rather than defaulting to lawyers and coordinators.
Legislatively, advocates suggest updating evidentiary rules and burdens of proof. For instance, Texas’s new “Time Taken Time Back” law (cited favorably by OICA allies) reverses the burden so courts must justify denying visitation instead of parents having to fight for it. More broadly, some say Oklahoma should formally recognize parental alienation as a form of domestic abuse, which could allow protective orders and evidence of parental alienation into court under looser standards. As one analysis bluntly concluded: “Courts must evolve to recognize parental alienation as a form of emotional abuse, and they must take swift and decisive action to prevent it.”
Meanwhile, awareness campaigns and support networks are seen as crucial. Verhaar’s study participants emphasized the value of connecting alienated adults for solidarity and education. In schools, counselors could be trained to spot signs of alienation early. All these steps – trauma-informed judiciaries, legal presumptions for shared custody, and updated evidentiary standards – aim to ensure courts do not inadvertently compound the trauma of parental alienation.
Sources:
Interviews and documentation from families (2017–2025).
Verhaar, S.; Matthewson, M. L.; Bentley, C. (2022). The Impact of Parental Alienating Behaviours on the Mental Health of Adults Alienated in Childhood. Children (Basel) 9(4):475. DOI 10.3390/children9040475. PMID 35455519.
Harman, J.; Kruk, E.; Hines, D. (2022). Parental Alienation: The Lost Boys and Girls of Family Law. Springer.
Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy official Facebook page (October 21, 2025 post on #JointEqualCustody hearing).
OICA presentation slides posted via (accessed Oct 2025).
Oklahoma Statutes Title 10A § 1-1-105 (definition of emotional abuse).
KOCO News coverage of OICA advocacy initiatives (2024–2025)
Writing By: Kim Waxlar | Editing by Robbie Robertson
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